O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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