the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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