her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize