I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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