he puts the penis in happiness.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
