I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
