Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize