It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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