Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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