Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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