Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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