In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
