when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize