He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Its about making memories worth repressing
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
