Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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