She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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