Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
