So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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