Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
