If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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