so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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