She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
