I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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