I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
