Cold hands, warm shart.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize