every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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