If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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