We're facebook friends in real life
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
