i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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