Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
