Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
