white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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