did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
