At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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