at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
