Sponge bath it is.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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