Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
