The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
