The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
