I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
