It's like God shit irony all over that family
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
