i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
