You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize