we're blogging at a bar
I looked at my own cervix.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize