he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
