Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
