Pappa wants mamma naked
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
