Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize