how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
