and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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