You just made me feel so damn special
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize