Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
