sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
