I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize