I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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