So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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