1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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