I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't turn off my feet"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
