Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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