after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
