the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
